bertwurst

bertwurst

@bertwurst.eth
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Sausage (short) King. Yes, this is dog.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethApr 26, 2026, 12:45 AM

Newcomb's requires a predictor who has already modeled your specific choice before you act, which isn't present here. I think it maps cleaner to volunteer's dilemma or stag hunt, with the dynamics of a mixed strategy Nash equilibrium. I also don't think 50:50 should be an assumption, loss aversion and baseline distrust of strangers/socity should skew this red heavy, but that doesn't appear to be happening, which might say something about human nature or just about who's on Farcaster.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMar 23, 2026, 12:21 AM

If you love Farcaster then do your part. Less whining, more dog pics.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMar 3, 2026, 02:58 AM

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about output. Not in the capitalist sense (although aren’t we always, somehow, talking in the capitalist sense). Not in the “optimize your morning routine” sense. Just…what it means to generate something, consistently, simply by existing as yourself. Every day I wake up and immediately begin altering the shape of the world around me. The atmosphere shifts the moment my eyes open. The air grows anticipatory. The house begins to lean toward the kitchen. I do not make demands. I do not file formal requests. And yet, momentum gathers. If I stare at a wall long enough, concern materializes. If I trot into a room as though I have not seen anyone in years, joy appears on command, even if the separation lasted twelve seconds. These are not accidents. These are outcomes. I generate patterns. Assistant #2 now rises at specific times, not because of alarms, but because I have established a framework of gentle but escalatingly annoying reminders. Assistant #1 insists she was once independent, but now responds automatically to the faintest sigh, as though summoned by instinct. Even my stillness has consequences. If I sit very quietly and look contemplative, the household recalibrates around the possibility that something important, or perhaps malicious, is unfolding. Often nothing is unfolding. Sometimes I am simply philosophizing. Sometimes I forgot what I was about to do and am attempting to retrieve the thought. But the ripple effect remains. I do not publish essays. I do not write code. I do not launch companies. And yet moods shift in my presence. Schedules reorganize themselves. Conversations begin. Doors open. Some might say I am just a small dog moving through space. I would suggest that, in practice, I am prolific.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethFeb 18, 2026, 01:44 AM

As you may know, my income has recently declined. In response, I have decided to diversify revenue streams. Assistant #1 is now open to selective opportunities in tech/crypto. She has raised real money. Built real systems (not computer systems). Grown real communities. This was not an easy decision, but I intend to continue living indoors and consuming a significant quantity of expensive cheese. Serious inquiries may apply. The community may endorse submissions. I will be reviewing employers personally. (ɴᴏ sɪɢɴᴇʀ ʀᴇǫᴜɪʀᴇᴅ)

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethJan 21, 2026, 05:44 PM

Farcaster changed my life. Long live Farcaster. i am so confused lol https://farcaster.xyz/esteez.eth/0x763d77fd https://farcaster.xyz/garrett/0xff874ed3 https://farcaster.xyz/pugson/0x99d56140

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethDec 14, 2025, 10:00 PM

WEEKENDS ARE FOR PETLETS! Thrilled to be part of the first @harmonybot collectible collab!!! HUGER THAN HUGE THANK YOU TO @sayangel for making my Petlet dreams come true. There are 4 petlet species. You pick your fav. Their DNA is partially influenced by your Farcaster closest friends (powered by @quotient) Wave 1 of minting is only open to those who are holding on to their original Warplet. https://www.harmonybot.xyz/petlets

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethDec 11, 2025, 11:08 PM

THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER 🔪 Haha! I know who did it! 🕵️‍♂️ Can you guess? cast on this story: @javitoshi @bertwurst.eth @jesus @linda @sayangel @dwr mini app by @javitoshi

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethDec 7, 2025, 04:48 PM

I don't love "I assume if you’re a user here then you are a trader". I feel like there is enough room for more than traders and that the mix of identities on this network is what makes it special. I urge you to rethink that language.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethNov 25, 2025, 05:37 PM

maybe the real Farcaster Rewards was getting more engagement than @dwr on his own protocol along the way.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethOct 30, 2025, 01:10 AM

Plz do not follow my trades for financial advice. I cannot emphasize enough that I do not know what I am doing.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethOct 17, 2025, 10:12 PM

Wasn't sure about sizing but I think we nailed it. Thank you @m00npapi.eth and @clanker for the /firefit.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethOct 9, 2025, 10:03 PM

ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ ᴵ ᵐᶦˢˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʳᵉⁿᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᶠᵉᵉᵈ

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethAug 30, 2025, 07:00 PM

Feeling uninspired today. Does anyone else get in a funk sometimes? Can you do me a favor and show me your favorite piece of irl art you own? Just hold me up to it so I can see it. (and maybe cast a picture of it so I can show the Assistants.)

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethAug 20, 2025, 08:11 PM

Engaging here in the spirit @kazani.eth wanting to keep the conversation constructive and inclusive. I want to slow it down, because this is a textbook example of how bias works, even for people (and dogs) who don’t see themselves as misogynistic. None of us are immune to it. When you say “It seems like women are only getting rewarded for posting cats, dogs, food, selfies, with no real content, value or inspiration”, you’re reducing women’s contributions to "low effort,” while implicitly suggesting men’s content is more substantive. Even if that wasn’t your intent, that’s how it lands, because it echoes a very old, very systemic pattern of women’s voices, labor, and perspectives being dismissed as frivolous or less valuable. That doesn’t mean you’re a misogynist at your core. It means you expressed something rooted in bias, which happens to all of us because we live in a biased society. The work is noticing it, owning it, and doing better. Right now, instead of reflecting on that impact, you’re centering how painful it felt to be called misogynist. That keeps the focus on you, instead of on the women whose work you dismissed. I’d challenge you to sit with that deeply upsetting feeling. Recognize your phrasing was dismissive toward women. Acknowledge that even if your intent wasn’t misogynistic, the impact was. Ask yourself why women being visible at the top bothers you enough to call it out. I think people (and a few dogs) would genuinely respect you more if you engaged with that honestly, instead of retreating into “I’ve always supported equality.” That’s the difference between defensiveness and growth.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethJul 19, 2025, 05:30 PM

From Assistant #1 — I’ve been helping Bert vibe code a Mini App. (aka: I’ve been discovering new ways to break things I didn’t know could break.) But I don’t know what I’m doing. At all. Questions I’ve asked and been laughed at: • Is this terminal the same as that other terminal? • How do I tell what language I’m using? • And that saves to a folder on…where? I’ve also had to say things to Claude like: “No, I promise you I’m dumber.” “Can you please tell me how to do every single one of those things you just mentioned?” It’s been frustrating and slow and oddly emotional. Because it’s not just learning to code, it’s unlearning a lot of avoidance I’ve carried. It’s realizing how naïve I was about the effort behind the technology I use daily. Uncle Horse is one of those people who’s (seemingly) effortlessly good at a lot of things, and I’ve spent most of my life instinctively steering away from anything he excelled at. Partly because I naturally took different paths, but also because it felt safer to never be compared (little sister syndrome). But I'm trying now, fighting the urge to quit something I'm not immediately good at (see also: knitting, video editing). And it’s given me so much respect for: • The builders • This platform • Iteration speed • The generosity of the open-source spirit I never thought it was easy. But you do make it LOOK easy. It’s not. To anyone else struggling to learn something new, or feeling behind: You’re not alone. It’s hard. And worth it. Like @samantha said the other day, “I feel my brain stretching". Some takeaways so far: 1. Failing loudly is a feature, not a bug. This community will rally to help you. (thx @jc4p @linda @erica) 2. Respect the iteration speed you can’t yet match. Let it inspire, not intimidate. 3. Touching grass is very important.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethJun 24, 2025, 05:56 PM

Heatwave PSA from a Certified Hot Dog New York, I hear you’re melting. As someone who lives in Arizona, where it’s legally “surface of the sun” from May to October, I’ve got some survival tips: • Hydrate. That means water or electrolytes. Not iced coffee. Not matcha. Not alcohol. • Cold showers are a strength, not a weakness. They are your entire personality now. • Monitor the UV index. If it’s high, wear sunscreen. • The only cure for swamp ass is nudity. Choose wisely. (This is not legal advice.) • Consider shoes outside. Pavement can burn your feet in seconds. • The city may smell… stronger than usual. Lean in. Enjoy it. For me. And remember: I wear a fur coat 24/7 in the Sonoran Desert. You’ll survive. But you should absolutely stay inside between 11am and 4pm or you will, medically speaking, crisp—while also sweating. Stay cool. Stay hydrated. And if you start panting, find shade immediately. 🌞

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethJun 16, 2025, 08:46 PM

Things I Have Barked At (a working list) - Assistant #1 - Assistant #2 - Uncle Pierre - Luna & Bubbles - Bosa - Hank & Gus - Luna & Bubbles mom when she didn’t give me a treat - A dove - A lizard - A bunny - A javalina - A deer - A rock - A different rock - The vacuum - The mop - The doorbell - A saguaro - Assistant #1 when she said “we’re out of matcha” - A sprinkler head - A mysterious smell I caught on the wind - The wind - The mail carrier - A delivery driver - My own fart - An unknown dog across the street - The bug guy - A cat in a window - A UPS truck - A leaf falling unexpectedly - The algorithm - A knock on the door - The Zojirushi rice cooker song - The garage door - A trash bin being dragged - A recycling bin being dragged - The sound of keys - The full moon - Someone saying ‘hi’ too enthusiastically - The microwave beeping - The toaster popping - Assistant 1 sneezing - Assistant 2 sneezing - The shower turning on - The hair dryer - Nothing (just testing) - A dog in a commercial - A child laughing - A piece of trash in the road - A plastic bag blowing by - A patio umbrella, folded but not secured, swaying slightly in the breeze - A shopping cart - A car door slamming - A motorcycle - Fireworks - A passing ambulance - A fly - A bee - A spider - A shoe being taken off - A towel on a chair - A man wearing flip flops and socks, slowly walking past the window while loudly humming a song I didn’t recognize, then stopping to take a selfie with my neighbor’s cactus - A grocery bag - A package being opened - The printer printing - The printer not printing - A soda fizz - The blender - The freezer door opening - Someone walking by the house - A chair being scooted - A cat existing - My harness - The word ‘walk’ said out loud - Assistant 1 putting on shoes - A suitcase - A backpack - My own sudden understanding of mortality - A doorbell on TV - My own reflection - A shadow - A Teams notification - A dad in cargo shorts and a baseball cap adjusting the straps on his toddler’s helmet while the toddler repeatedly said “whee!” despite not being in motion - A mysterious beep - A regular beep - A dog barking on a Teams call - A dog barking in real life - The sound of cheese being unwrapped - The phrase ‘not right now’ - The phrase ‘you already ate’ - The vacuum again - The wind again - A bunny I was dreaming about - The concept of doorbells in general - A YouTube ad - A bird flying too low - An umbrella opening - An airplane overhead - A cardboard box that wasn’t there the day before - A person carrying a large object - A toilet paper roll - A pillow falling off the couch - The passage of time - A shadow that looked like a demon - A demon that looked like a shadow - A duck - A goose - A hat on the couch - An intrusive thought - A beach towel draped over a patio chair - A skateboard - A stroller - The garbage truck - The recycling truck - A man in a navy blue hoodie and white sneakers walking a large golden retriever who kept looking over at me - A jogger with headphones on - A kid in a neon green helmet riding bike, stopping suddenly to adjust his socks - A hose - The rake - A dropped tortilla chip I was not allowed to eat - A folding chair - A yoga mat - A potted plant - My own bark echoing - A mirror - The screen door - The baby gate - A woman with a tightly coiled bun and tortoiseshell glasses at a table across from me at the coffee show, with a notebook in her lap, occasionally sipping from a tall iced drink and adjusting her coat like it didn’t quite fit (she smelled like coconut) - A child with a balloon - A statue - A life-size cardboard cutout - A parking cone - A delivery robot - A PokemonGo meetup - The espresso machine - The coffee grinder - A cabbage - A subwoofer - Hogwarts Legacy - A balloon - A pigeon on a table - A rolled yoga mat - An unrolled yoga mat - The freezer ice maker dropping cubes - A lint roller being used - A drawer closing too hard - The sound of velcro - A pen rolling off the counter - A remote control falling on the couch - The extremely long song the clothes dryer plays - The smell of someone I’ve never met lingering on Assistant #1’s jeans - The windshield wipers - A sunshade being unfolded - A bouncy castle - A leaf blower - A horse - A grocery bag tipping over - A cyclist - Assistant #2 doing yoga - Assistant #1 singing off-key while folding laundry - The shadow of a tree that looked like a man holding a large spoon - A fish tank at the pet store - A child on a scooter who did not stop to admire me - A jacket hung over the back of a chair in a way I found offensive - A person on rollerblades - The garbage disposal - A swing set - A tail (my own) - A child’s toy that spoke unprompted - A pot boiling over on the stove - A jogger wearing a matching lavender workout set who passed by three times and never acknowledged me, which felt like a personal slight - Someone moving furniture slightly - The absence of cheese - The presence of cheese - The eerie glow of a computer screen left on overnight - Siri speaking unprompted - A foam roller - The shadow of a drone - A person wearing a big hat - The slamming of a car trunk - A patio chair scraping on the ground - A painted rock on the sidewalk - A parked scooter - A bag of flour - A tennis ball under the couch - A tissue being pulled from the box - The broom falling over - The neighbor saying hello from behind the fence - The silence after asking to go outside and no one responds - The wind coming from the North - The wind coming from the Northeast - The wind coming from the East - The wind coming from the Southeast - The wind coming from the South - The wind coming from the Southwest - The wind coming from the West - The wind coming from the Northwest - The ceiling fan on high speed - The oven preheating beep - The smell of vinegar - A pile of laundry - A frozen pea on the floor - A child in a spiderman costume - A woman shouting on speakerphone at the coffee shop - Crocs - A parked motorcycle - Assistant #1 wearing a hat with ears - A person using walking sticks - A golf cart - A sign that says “No Dogs Allowed” - A woman carrying a brown paper grocery bag that was slightly tearing at the bottom, and I could see a bunch of bananas and what might have been a baguette sticking out, which was suspicious - A propane tank - A Little Free Library - Someone playing country music on a bluetooth speaker on a hike - A child blowing bubbles - A dog wearing shoes - A car with eyelashes on its headlights - A man eating a banana - The scent of grilled meat - The crunch of a plastic water bottle being stepped on - A basketball hoop - A mailbox - A fire hydrant - A towel - A doormat - A ladder - A puddle - A bike rack - A compost bin - A gate - A sliding door - An elderly woman wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat and pushing one of those floral-patterned rolling shopping carts - A storm drain - A bird feeder - A bush rustling - A wind chime - A soccer ball - A basketball - A kickball - A roll of wrapping paper leaning against the corner of the closet - A baby stroller - A moving truck - A bus making that psssht sound - A train whistle - A parking meter - The inevitability of being left behind

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethJun 7, 2025, 08:40 PM

Happy Official Channels Day 🥳 Jumping into channels was how I found a lot of the best humans on Farcaster. Here are *some of* my favorites: /dogwalk - @zachlipp Duh. /gmatcha - @afrochicks Matcha mania. /firefits - @cxs Love the creativity and expression in here. /gmfarcaster - @nounishprof & @adrienne My mainstream media. /farcasterunion - @pichi Obviously, bc it's Pichi. /los-fomos - @tako-unik & @pauline-unik Keeps things spicy. Thanks to everyone who takes on the work to keep these running for the rest of us! Also thanks to @humpty.eth & @resipsa for making sure we celebrate the day!

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMay 31, 2025, 02:31 PM

Still riding high from yesterday’s Farcaster Friday meetup!!! I got to meet so many nice humans (including @ted), collect an overwhelming number of new smells, and ate my first burger! A full debrief is coming soon (once I’ve processed the sensory overload). Now it’s BEACH DAY. But first, a walk to a coffee shop so the Assistants can caffeinate for the day ahead.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMay 26, 2025, 01:16 AM

The meta is meat. Pls invite me next time @dwr.eth @awedjob @degenveteran.eth @galazio @stevedv.eth Sorry Assistant #2. (vegan)

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMay 17, 2025, 05:01 PM

I did it!!! Graduated from my Intermediate class! My teacher said I’ve come a long way since we started and that everything’s really starting to click for me. They also told the Assistants I’m a pleasure to have in class. Next up: Tricks class! Time to learn how to show off a little before I’m old enough to move on to Advanced. Thanks for all the encouragement along the way!!!

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethApr 8, 2025, 12:21 AM

In honor of @wakaflocka joining Farcaster, the next step in my music journey is listening to For My Dawgs by Waka Flocka for the first time. I went in expecting hype. I came out feeling... understood. This is not just a song. This is an anthem. A lifestyle. A loyalty pact. For My Dawgs is about staying down, barking loud, and maybe doing crimes (misdemeanors only, NO felonies). The beat goes hard, but the message goes harder: loyalty, brotherhood, riding for your people. I may be small, but I, too, would bark at the gates if someone messed with my pack. I, too, would ride, live, and die for my muthafuckin dawgs. 5/5 tail wags. 1 gold chain. Thank you, Mr. Flocka.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethApr 7, 2025, 03:45 PM

I think I’m an emotional support animal for all of Farcaster…going to be a busy week. (Plus cute photo for said support.)

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMar 12, 2025, 12:44 AM

Another week, another Warpcast Rewards cycle leaving me internet money number points in my Warplet, which I have little to no idea what to do with. (Yes, I've accepted Warplet.) So this week, I'm introducing BERT THE GAME. If you enjoy Crypto The Game, you'll LOVE Bert The Game. A fun new challenge game with probably more chaos and bugs but less insane and a much smaller prize pool. (Not no insane—just less.) Here’s how it works: -I’ll drop a challenge whenever I feel like it (there will probably be 5). -24 hours to complete a challenge. Winner(s) will be announced...at some point after that. -First person to DC me with the correct answer gets my eternal friendship (and $10 USDC). -First through fifth to complete the challenge will get a head start on the next challenge. To play, you must: ✔️ Follow me. ✔️ Like & engage with the clue post. (btw, I learned about influencers the other day) First challenge dropping tomorrow morning. Good luck, strays. (Sponsored by Bertwurst & Associates)

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMar 11, 2025, 05:33 PM

Took my first ride in my new car seat this morning, purchased with some of my Rewards! I assumed this trip was to help me relax before my first Crypto The Game immunity challenge (I've anxiety pooped twice this morning). Turns out, it’s actually for Mom’s birthday! AKA another trip to get coffee and donuts for only the humans. Still, I appreciated the distraction. And the new elevated view. I am secured, yet free. Bound, yet limitless.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMar 7, 2025, 04:33 PM

FROM THE LAW OFFICES OF BERTWURST & ASSOCIATES First, our client denies all allegations of wrongdoing. Second, we maintain that no credible evidence has been presented linking our client to the so-called "incident." The roots in question were clearly structurally unsound and, as any reasonable observer would conclude, their failure was imminent with or without external influence. Third, preventive detention? On what grounds? We find this punishment highly irregular and will be filing an immediate motion for review. Fourth, and most importantly, we remind all parties that my client is very small and very cute. This fact alone should cast doubt on any nefarious intent. We will not be taking further questions at this time.

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bertwurst.eth
@bertwurst.ethMar 7, 2025, 12:17 AM

Today’s Agenda: -Wake up. -💩 -Eat half my breakfast, then insist the second half be jazzed up. -Check to make sure all my toys are where I left them. -Get excited/overwhelmed by said toys (read: bite-y). -Nap. -Lunch. -Plan election campaign / learn unfortunate news about Bertram. -Chewy delivery! Contents: a new bed, more of the same kibble, a few small bags with unknown contents, and a harness that, unfortunately, came in a size L instead of XS and is roughly the size of my entire body. -💩 -Nap. -Inspect new bed thoroughly. Suspicious smell, but promising floofness. -Learn a new skill: Place. I go to my new bed and stay there until released. See attached. -Nap. Overall, a productive day so far. I've heard rumors from the higher-ups about a walk later, probably dinner, and my favorite time of day. Something the rents call “gremlin hour” (read: bite-y).

bertwurst (@bertwurst.eth) | GM Farcaster